My whole life, I was always a little bigger than most girls. I noticed this in elementary during the annual physical check-ups in PE when the other girls would get weighed before me and I weighed 10 or 15 pounds more than them.
Keep in mind that as a child, I looked like everyone else. I wasn't this pudgy kid. I was slightly taller than most girls (that changed in high school) and had a little more meat on my ass than the other girls.
It's no secret that I have an affinity for cake and chicken. Get a plate of chicken in front of me and follow it up by a little cake and I'll be a happy girl!
This was pointed out by the Boyfriend, who upon looking at old family photos in my mom's picture box, noticed there are way too many photos featuring me with chicken or cake.
Here are a few examples of this:
Don't I just look thrilled to have these delicacies in front of me? I look gosh darn joyful.
The love for cake has never left me as evident by this
totally flattering photo snapped just this afternoon by the Boyfriend as I ate a slice of cake by the sink in the kitchen:
Pure glee on my face.
Don't get me wrong here. I do try to eat well, I do exercise, and do try to keep healthy. According to my last physical a couple moths ago, I am pretty healthy. Do I want to loose weight? Yea. Of course I do. I would love to be at the weight I was the first year of college.
But you know what? For now, all I can do is love myself for who I am.
The Boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful. What more can a girl ask for? I can feel my worst, and he will still find me attractive.
I've had people in my family tell me "you need to loose weight!" or tell someone to tell me "hey, she needs to loose weight!" ...and it fucking sucks. People who should love you bluntly saying things like this is NOT a way to get through to someone you are trying to "help." It should be done with tact, respect, and lots of TLC. Just FYI for any of you out there attempting to make this kind of intervention happen.
All it does is make you feel worse; it tears down any walls of confidence that have been built.
The last time this occurred, I actually went through a month long "diet" where I ate only 1000 calories or less a day, and did some extra work outs. After the month was over, I was 1 pound lighter, hungry, and still wearing the same clothes...except my pants were a little loose on my thighs. It wasn't worth it.
Recently, though Tumblr, I found confidence and self-worth through many TumblrBlogs like FuckYeahChubbyFashion and PlusSizeWomenAreBeautiful. There are other girls who look like me, who are smaller than me or even bigger than me who look beautiful, who have so much confidence. It inspired me, and recently, I have been seeing myself as beautiful. It helps to have the Boyfriend love all of me, too.
I don't know the reasoning behind this post. I don't think i need a reason at all. I think it's just to put it out there that I may not look perfect, but I am beautiful. Everyone is.