Tuesday, January 10, 2012

You have five minutes to wallow in the delicious misery. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Discard it. And proceed.



Title for the post is a quote from the movie Elizabethtown.  Just in case you're wondering.

Sometimes, little things happen around me that i envy.  Things I'm not able to do yet or can't experience yet.It makes me bitter, sad, jealous.  Three attributes that I never aspire to have.


I'm sometimes feel like I am not entirely satisfied in my current position.  I thought I would be more financially stable, more independent, etc by the time I hit this age.  But certain choices in school and career have brought me to the place I am now:
I choose to stay in school and get a second degree that I felt was essential. 
I chose to work on my photography career instead of following a more "stable" path.  While photography is growing and I can justify getting a studio soon (another feat all it's own!), it still doesn't make enough money to feel like it can be my only occupation.

I know I'm not the only person who feels that they are in a situation like this.

On the flip side, I know I shouldn't feel that way. 
I should feel fortunate that I have a roof to sleep under, an INCREDIBLE family and parents who are supporting my decision to photograph people for a living, an incredible boyfriend who is helping me get my business off the ground running, and great friends.  
I have an awesome job that I love, and a part time job substitute teaching that I am growing to love more and more with each assignment.  How many people can say they love what they do? I can!

I know that I should never feel envy for someone else getting to do something I can't do.  I should feel happy, excited, proud. And I do feel all those things.
But there is still that little dark spot that makes me want what they have.

And I just need to remind myself that I don't always have to do what others are doing.  
I can't focus on what I don't have...
...I need to focus on me; on what it will take to get where I want to be.  :)

2 comments:

  1. Hi, I'm following you from 20sb :)

    You know what, sometimes I do feel the same things. But everytime I see less fortunate people who are no house to live in, and those that don't have their families with them. I thank god for my blessings :) Thank you for sharing this post!

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  2. This is a great and honest post! good for you for putting on the table an issue that so many people won't talk about. Envy is everywhere, especially now with socail networking and seeing everyones's "best foot forward" ALL the time:) Turst me, girl, you are not alone!

    And great quote from Elizabeth town!- Audry Cece(20sb member)

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