Thursday, February 9, 2012

Let's talk about sex, baby.

On Monday, I was given the task of substituting for a High School Junior Spanish 3 class for the day. There is a general mix of age levels here with some sophomores, and the greater majority being juniors. 
In one of the classes, there are only 6 students, all of which are girls.  I overheard them talking about how one of their male classmates (who had been in that classroom with me earlier that day) and his girlfriend are now expecting a child. From what i learned, he is a Junior, she is too (i think) and she is 2 months along.

The general response from the other girls who didn't know the girl was pregnant was this:
"They hope it's a girl..."
"Oh, how sad. But they can't do anything about it now, so how cute!"
"When is the baby shower?"
"Do her parents know?"
"Aww, I guess that's cool"
my expression the entire time: O_O
First off, how is this cool or cute? The girl is 16 or 17 at most...and she is more than likely going to kicked out of this school because of this.
(School is a charter school, so they frown upon this. She will be sent out to a public school).

These girls have no idea what this couple got themselves into.  All they see is a couple who "loves" each other who will now have a cute bouncing baby girl or boy.
The way they were oooooo-ing and aaaahhhhhh-ing makes it seem like it's almost glorified.

Say goodbye to those size 0 jeans, girls.

Now, I love Texas - but this state is so full of conservative ninnies who are afraid of change that want school health teachers to teach that the only safe sex is no sex.  In other words: abstinence only.  This does not help matters at all.

I don't endorse Rick Perry; in fact I think he is an absolute imbecile. Watch this video about what he wants Texas schools to teach regarding sex-ed.  He is an idiot.  I'm so glad he's not running for president anymore.  But that's another story entirely.

I'm glad that some school districts in the state of Texas are starting to teach sex-ed properly again by talking about contraception. But the area I live in is backwards. The people who run schools are traditionalists and religious leaders who are afraid to teach proper sex-ed because it's seen as shameful, wrong, and nothing kids should worry about until marriage.

Most health teachers do not teach sex-ed properly anymore.
They tell you "Part A goes into Part B and together they make babies."  Then they teach you that abstinence is the only thing we can do. Don't have sex, no one gets hurt.

True, abstinence is the only sure-fire way to prevent pregnancy and Sexually transmitted diseases. But this is not a realistic take on sexual education, nor realistic on what kids are doing behind closed doors.  It's hasn't stopped kids from getting pregnant or getting STIs.  
Just look at the staggering numbers of teen pregnancy rates!

So my whole point is talking about this school I work at and these kids in questions.  These are Mexican-American kids from traditional Mexican households.  
I also am a Mexican-American from a traditional Mexican I know what I'm saying when I say this:  these kids aren't learning about safe sex at school, and they sure as hell aren't learning it from home.

I love my parents, but my parents are as traditional as they come.  
My parents never talked to me about sex when I was a teen, because they had the belief that I would never be exposed to it.  I learned the gritty facts about sex and safe sex by the internet, experiences, and my friends.  
To this day, my mom refuses to acknowledge that I know anything about sex, that I know how it works, or that I have had experience...and she won't talk about it - and I'm 25.

With that said, I am more than certain that these kids come from households like this - where their parents are as traditional as they come, knee deep in a religion that teaches you that sex is for procreation, not recreation.  

They don't get the talk about sex at home or at school. So what happens? They go too far one night and BAM! There's a bun in the oven.

At one of my visits to the clinic for my annual exam, i remember the Nurse getting me prepped telling me that she just finished counseling a 16 year old girl over her pregnancy.  She told me that her boyfriend came with her, and when she showed them condoms, neither of them knew how condoms worked. They had seen them, but didn't know how to use them. This is sad.  
I have friends who are teachers at middle schools telling that there are pregnant girls in the 7th and 8th grade. WTF?   According to another friend, the local high school at almost 30 girls expecting. 
Is this what our tax dollars are going to? Telling kids to say NO, but not showing them what to do in the event that both of them say YES?
It's depressing.  It makes me upset.

All of the above is the reason that the Boyfriend and I have decided that when we are blessed to have children some day, we will be teaching them both sides.
My children will be told to wait until they are ready.  They will be told that sex can wait, but if they find themselves in a situation where they will be having sex, there are safe manners to practice it.
I will teach them about condoms, birth control pills, respecting their partner, being smart about it. 
I will make sure to tell them that they have every right to come to me with questions. That I would rather answer questions truthfully than end up with a grandchild early in their years.

I think more parents should be open wit their children, and that the educational system would not be so afraid to teach the children what they don't hear at home.

There is nothing shameful about sex.  The only shameful thing is nothing giving the children the background to protect themselves.

I blame twilight for all of this.


  1. 1. I HATE "TWILIGHT".

    2. You make a lot of good points in this post. I am disturbed by the glamorized baby love image. People don't stop to think about bills, groceries, and the other costs of raising a child. No need to worry about those things! Everything will magically work out somehow because babies are cute, right?

    1. I hate it too.

      These kids need Maury and the random person Maury has yell at them.

  2. I'm totally with you. For my kids. sex ed is going to be all about honesty. Even now, what with me expecting #3, my twin two year olds have the book "Where Did I Come From," which I can't recommend highly enough. When they're old enough to ask why people have sex, I'll give them the same answer my mom gave me. "Because it feels really good!" And then I'll let them know that I love them and support them no matter what they do, BUT they should always use contraception if they choose to have sex. And honestly, I expect that if they're armed with the knowledge of all the possible consequences AND how to avoid them, like me they'll wait until they're mature enough to make a conscious and intelligent choice. I didn't wait for marriage, but I did wait until I felt I was ready to handle whatever consequences I incurred. And I didn't feel at all ashamed to be a virgin at sixteen or seventeen, or particularly eager not to be one anymore either.

  3. BTW- how did you find the blog Blue Jean Dreams? That's written by a friend of mine (and I'm an occasional contributor) and... do you know K?

  4. Either I saw them on 20sb or I received a comment from that blog And followed them after liking their blog :)


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